MARRYING AFTER THE GRADUATION

BOY: I'll marry you right after our graduation.


GIRL: What if I won't make it? Let's just say I can't graduate.


BOY: If you can't graduate? Then I'll look for another one. hehehehe. I'm just kidding.


The graduation day came and the boy didn't graduated.


BOY: Congratulations, Sorry I screwed up during the final examination. I failed. Now, I can't graduate. ( on his hand a ring )


GIRL: Then? I thought you were so bright because you're talking big things to me before. But now I know that you're so stupid that you got a very low grade not even reaching the passing score from our final exam.


The boy got ashamed and just face the ground.


BOY: OK. I'll accept all your discrimination. But will you still marry me?


GIRL: Of course NOT! I don't want to be with LOSERS LIKE YOU!


BOY: It's OK. I understand. Yeah! Maybe I was just so stupid. Most especially when I swap our test papers during our final examination. Anyway, congratulations and thanks for everything.

LION KING

SIMBA

Cheerful, feisty lion cub Simba "Just Can't Wait to Be King," but with the loss of his dad, Mufasa, his adventures take a new path. Simba flees accusations, guilt and the Pride Land meeting new friends along the way who teach him a worry free philosophy. As Simba grows into adulthood, he discovers that his father's courage and wisdom are a part of him and reclaims his place as the King of the Pride Lands.

NALA

A rambunctious lioness cub ready to go wherever and whenever with her best friend, Simba. As Nala grows up, her spunky cuteness ripens into sleek, tawny beauty, her childlike bravado becomes true courage and her friendship with Simba deepens into love.

TEAR HERE IN MY HEART

I wonder every time I fall in love, heartbreaks came. It makes me ask my self, is there something printed in my heart that reads "TEAR HERE"?

PRUSISYUN

PARI: Ang mga lalaki sunod sa karo ni San Jose. Ang mga babae sa karo ni Mama Mary.


BAKLA: eh, kami father? Saan kami susunod?


PARI: Mga bruha! Follow me! Sa gitna tayo para mas bongga!

QUOTES FOR DRUNKERS

Every time I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look at the beer and think of the workers in beer factory. If I don't drink, they'll be jobless.                                                                                                          --

CEBU, BOHOL AND MANILA

Sa barko:

Tinapun ng taga Bohol ang kanyang cellphone sa dagat.

CEBU: Naku! Bakit mo tinapun yung cellphone mo sa dagat? Sayang yun.

BOHOL: OK lang yun. maraming cellphone sa Bohol.

Lumapit ang taga Manila at tinapun ang kanyang Laptop.

CEBU: Naku! Sayang yung Laptop mo. Bakit mo itinapun?

MANILA: It's OK. We have lots of Laptops in Manila.

Nakatunganga ang taga Cebu dahil wala siyang maipagmayabang nang may lumapit na isang napaka gandang babae. Kanya agad itong inihulog sa dagat. Na shock lahat ng tao sa paligid.

LAHAT NG TAO: [napasigaw] NAKU! BAKIT MO INIHULOG YUNG BABAE SA DAGAT?

CEBU: It's just fine. Maraming magagandang babae sa Cebu.

REASON WHY DO CHILDREN DROP THEIR SCHOOLING

Mother: WHAT?! You've got another low grade? Why don't you follow Peter? Always got honors!
--Son: You're so unfair comparing me to that Peter! 

--

Mother: And why am I being unfair?! Huh?!

--

Son: Because his mother is so bright. Not like mine!

--

Mother:  ???

--

NBA FINALS

Alam mo? Para kang NBA Finals!


Kasi maDALLAS kitang isipin kahit MAIMI akong ginagawa.

!!!!!.....ISTURYAHHHEEEEEEEE.....!!!!!

WAY OF SAYING GOODBYE

If your boyfriend or girlfriend will leave you because he or she has another one, don't be sad nor cry. Just hug him or her tight and whisper his or her ear, "Can we have sex for the last time?" LOL

:-)

:-D

:-)

WHY DO SOME GUYS WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THEIR GIRLFRIEND?

--

Why do some guys want to taste their girl before asking marriage? It's because "it pays to check the label". Who knows, that girl already expired.
---

SCENE AT DISCO BAR

ni sulirap ang kalimutaw...

This photo is edited. And this shows what's inside of a disco bar.

courtesy of penzion olymp for the background.

BUNTIS SI MARE

Mare-1:  Mare, dito muna ako titira sa inyo. Lumayas kasi ako sa bahay namin kasi buntis ako.


Mare-2:  Hah?! Dapat doon ka tumira sa bahay ng lalaking nakabuntis sa'yo.


Mare-1:  Kaya nga dito muna ako titira sa inyo. Andiyan ba si pare? Kailangan niya malaman to.


Mare-2: ( hinimatay )

LIGAW NA BALA

Boy:  Alam mo? Para kang ligaw na bala.


Girl:  at bakit?


Boy:  Kasi sa iba ka nakalaan pero ako ang tinamaan.

REASON OF WEARING GLOVES

Nurse:  Doc, why do we need to wear our gloves every time we have surgery operations?


Doctor:  Wearing those gloves were really important. Because if ever our patients will die, we don't have finger-prints on them. Understand?


Nurse:  Yes, Doc!

NAKED GIRL

A naked girl rode a taxi and the driver was staring at her.


Girl:  Why are you staring at me like that? Is this the first time you watch a naked girl?


Driver:  Nope. Your naked body makes me think where could you possibly kept your money since you're not carrying anything?

Where could it be? Do you have any idea?